I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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