I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
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