If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
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