i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
