We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
