I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
