im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
