I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
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