I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
