I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
