Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize