What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
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The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
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So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize