i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
