The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
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