I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
