Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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