i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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