well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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