i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize