guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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