ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
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