Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
