what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
