just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
