considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
he just fucked me for my cheese..
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
