Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
