VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
