I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
