You're earring is so big in my mouth
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
