Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
