Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
