My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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