I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
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