I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
