I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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