what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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