I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
