You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Randomize
