I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
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Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
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I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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