She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
