1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
All I want is dick and wine.
Randomize
