She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
