I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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