So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
