There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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