Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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