I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
