yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
