he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
