I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Randomize
