Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
