hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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