Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
