I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
