remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
