I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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