Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
