Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
