and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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