you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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