lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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