Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
you have to choose: penises or morals?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
