Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
MIDGETS
????
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Randomize
