Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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