Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
