The maid of honor just puked.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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