Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
