I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
be right there i have to get my cape
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize