I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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