I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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