You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
