help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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