I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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