...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
