i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize